Steven Phillips goes to order some nachos, to which the nacho vender replies, "S T E A M Y". Steven walks out with his nachos and is distracted by two people starting up a car, not long before being knocked over by a skateboarder, and spills his nachos. The nachos then magically activate a Primus performance, where they tell the story of Jerry, who never did win no checkered flag, but he never did come in last. It also tells the story of Captain Pierce, a fireman who was forced to retire his job at the age of sixty five. The story concludes with Jerry having one too many cold beers one night and wrapping his car around a telephone pole. A tragic tale.
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